Adventures

I read somewhere once...

... that there is nothing more boring than the stories of other people's dreams. With that in mind, i will refrain from telling you about the dream i had last night that involved an a capella rendition of Headhunter by Front 242 and included a tapdance routine.

Instead, i shall give you a book recommendation: The Martian Child by David Gerrold. Andy suggested i read this book, and i was hesitant, because our tastes in literature do not always coincide. He tends to lean toward surrealist or science fiction, while i prefer psychological dramas set in the real world. The Martian Child is none of these. It is a short novel (took me two hours to read it) about a single man adopting an eight-year old boy who has been shunted from home to home roughly every two years of his life.

I am not a book critic, so i can't give you flowery phrases about how good this story is. Just go find it at a library near you and read it.

The video for Headhunter is after the jump. Warning: Includes mild nudity, strange uses for eggs, both raw and hard boiled, and silly, early 1990s drama.

What is it with feet?

I am hereby declaring a moratorium on venturing outside of my apartment. This is to last until such action is absolutely necessary (unfortunately, this will be in about 14.5 hours).

An overheard conversation on the bus this afternoon (thank god i wasn't directly involved in this one):

-- 'You know what i really hate?'

-- 'What?'

-- 'Blisters.'

-- 'Ugh.'

-- 'I have three or four big blood blisters on my toe right now. They just keep rubbing and rubbing against my shoe.'

Etcetera.

Question

Why does the Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle have an exhibit of an east African village?

From a Zoo press release (February 2001):

The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation generously funded African Village, which opens this May. The exhibit will immerse visitors in a representation of a rural village in East Africa. The village will contain both traditional (thatch-roofed) and contemporary (metal-roofed) structures, including a community pavilion (palaver hut) for educational programming and special events, a primary school house, a teacher's house and a traditional Kikuyu house. The Kikuyu are the largest ethnic group in Kenya.

At least there aren't any actual Kikuyu on display.

Photo credit: windflowers43

I'm not crazy, but everyone else is

I have reached my limit for crazy people. I thought i had done so on Monday, when i wrote the following in my notebook:

Five bus rides within two and a half hours and a visit to a downtown drugstore is the maximum amount of contact with unwashed, hacking humanity i can take. Tubercular coughs, pull-along shopping trolleys filled with soiled belongings, spilled coffee, the mixed aromas of cigarette smoke and fecal matter, crusty scabs on faces, and swollen hands clutching bus transfers combine to make me wish i did not ride the bus so often.

Today, however, i went to Starbucks in my neighborhood. I scored a spot in a comfy chair, drank a cup of tea, and began working on some knitting. A man came and sat down in the other chair next to me, which i normally don't mind, and we exchanged a few words (he contributed more than i did, and he had a tendency toward non sequiturs). Soon, he was reading the newspaper (mumbling to himself occasionally), and i was focusing on my knitting in relative peace.

Until.

He declared that he thought he had broken something. I thought he said his foot, but it turned out he meant a toenail, this becoming clear when he removed his shoe and sock and began picking at his gnarly toes. I glanced over at the naked foot; it was repulsive. His toenails were longer than anyone who is not mentally ill would keep them, and they were dirty, possibly fungal. As he dug through his coat pockets looking for some implement with which he could relieve himself of whatever trouble his toe was causing, he came across a stuffed animal. A lemur, in fact.

The man drew my attention to the lemur and said he was selling them for $1 each. This i found to be simultaneously incredible (in the literal sense of the word) and uninteresting. He then offered me the one in his hand for free, noting that if you put them on top of a speaker they will eventually fall off due to the vibrations. I don't know if this was part of his sales pitch, but i do know it did not work. I declined his offer, despite his assurances that the lemur could be mine 'no strings attached'.

At this point, i decided the naked foot had been exposed for as long as i could stand, and i said, 'Do you think you could take care of all this in the bathroom?' His response: 'I'm almost done.' I made a move to pack up my things and leave, and he protested that he would put his sock and shoe back on, and he would go. I suppose my disapproval combined with my refusal of his generous lemur offer gave offense. While angrily replacing his sock and shoe, he informed me that i was too sensitive and if i had ever been homeless i would understand what it was like. This was the only time it occurred to me he might be homeless; he was dressed, if not well, then fairly cleanly, and he was carrying nothing but his cup of coffee.

After standing up, he said, 'In case you think i'm a bum, this jacket cost $1700.'

-- 'I don't see why you would care what i think, but in that case you should know better than to take off your shoes and socks in a restaurant.'

-- 'There's nothing wrong with that.'

-- 'It's at least a health code violation, sir.'

-- 'You didn't have to be so nasty.'

-- 'I wasn't nasty.'

-- 'Yes, you were. Enjoy the rest of your life, which will probably be spent alone.'

With that he left, and i sat for a moment, disturbed.

All i wanted was a cup of tea. On the way home i bought two bottles of wine.

Not bad

So today i did a real workout at a real gym for the first time since the summer of 2006, and i was pleasantly surprised to find that my muscles have not completely atrophied and been replaced by fat (not even my triceps!!!). I felt so good i even did a little extra cardio, riding 2+ miles on the bike, at the end.

Maybe i'll actually pay to join this gym (which is right by my house and open 24 hours) after my 7 day pass is up...

Image credit: Chrizz